How to suck less at asking for help

yoga support

Hi, there! We’re so glad you’ve found this article. It’s about asking for help. It’s a great resource if you want to ask for help more often with less awkwardness and/or guilt. The exercises below are the same ones we use to help our clients manage stress and avoid burnout. We hope it helps. (Get it?!)

A helpful pause

How do you feel when you help someone?

Seriously, take a moment and a deep breath. Remember the last time you helped a teammate, friend, neighbor, or family member. How would you describe that experience? Did they ask for help? Or did you offer it?

Okay, now, how do you feel when someone helps you?

Take another deep breath. Remember the last time a teammate, friend, neighbor, or family member helped you. How would you describe that experience? Did you ask for help? Or did they offer it?

Notice the similarities and differences in how you feel when you ask for help and when you receive it. 

Help is all around – if you know where to look 

If asking for help is hard(er) for you, you’re in good company. One of the root causes of burnout is not asking for support. There are many reasons people struggle with seeking help. For instance, they might:

  • Live in a culture that rewards independence and individual contributions.
  • Feel guilty because they don’t want to burden others.
  • Not know what to ask for help with, who to ask for help from, or what to say.

Luckily, asking for help is a skill that you can practice. And, like most things, you get better at it the more you do it. Here are five simple steps to help you practice asking for help.

  • Write down everything you need to get done. In life. At work. For your hygiene. For your health. For your relationships. For your community. 
  • Put a star next to the things causing you the most stress or anxiety.
  • Next, list all the people you could ask for help. These can be people you’re related to. Friends. Community members. Doctors. Therapists. Coworkers. Customer service representatives. Everyone you can think of.
  • Circle the to-do items that you put *stars* next to AND that someone on your list could help you with.
  • Pick one item to ask for help with and one person to for help from. Then use the script below to ask them for support.
 Script it out

“Hi <insert the name of the person you need help from here>. How are you? 

I could use some help. I need to <insert your to-do item here>. I thought of you as someone who could help me do that. Would you be able to help me?”

Make it a habit

Simple, right? Try repeating these steps once a week for a month. Then, revisit the questions at the beginning. Notice if your answers have changed.

Get feedback

Want feedback on your script? Send it over to info <at> baskandbeing <dot> com. One of our coaches will review it and respond within a week!

Attitude of Gratitude,

Team Bask + Being (we/our)

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